rex ♱ rosario

ㅤㅤactor | musician | artist | fashion creatureㅤㅤ

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ㅤ❝ㅤ I don't know where I'm going from here, but I promise I won't bore you. ㅤ❞ㅤ David Bowie

february 3, 2025

Yesterday was my 27th birthday (2/2) !!!I will be very transparent: I had been very much dreading this birthday. I'm not sure where in my mind I decided that 27 was a drastic shift. Perhaps it's the colloquial 27 club looming over my disturbed little head. Perhaps it's the rapidly increasing weight of the world. Perhaps it's the All of It. One way or another, I decided that 27 was "oh shit, this age is serious."I kicked off my birthday seeing The Fly at River Oaks on a lovely date. I adore that film and Cronenberg gross-out faire, and luckily my date hasn't been scared off by me just yet. I'm very glad to have had a celebratory time. On my actual birthday, I went and got a little treat alone, played some Fashion Dreamer on my Nintendo Switch lite, and then had dinner with my family that evening.
Today, I went to Barnes & Noble with one of my longest time best friends.
Overall, it's been lovely!So why was I dreading things?

In my slings and arrows of misfortune, I created a zine to commemorate my 27 years of life, and to really commit to my heart, and to the hearts of my loved ones that I am distributing this zine to, that I have plenty of reasons to stay around and keep kicking.
"Rex," my loved ones may say, "you so obviously have everything going for you. How on earth can you not see that?"Well, 1, I have severe astigmatism in my right eye, so my eyes are not great as it is, and screen time will effectively kill all that more swiftly than it should.2 - my mental health has always been the furthest thing from stable. I have warped glasses that I'm looking at my own life with, but also, by extention, so do the people who look at my life as well. You don't see the neuron activity in my brain, you don't know my life.But you (my loved ones, and maybe you reading this too) love me all the same, right?Right????Happy Birthday to me, and to my fellow Aquarius siblings this month. In the spirit of Aquarius, let's innovate, speak out for the disenfranchised, and explore our inner and outer worlds together.⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

january 27, 2025

Today, one of my best friends and I went to a AMC mystery horror feature screening, and were very pleasantly surprised! It was a total blast, especially the anticipation we felt as the trailers ran and we tried excitedly to guess what our feature would be - "Okay, they're playing the Heart Eyes trailer so it's not that"; "They haven't played the trailer for The Monkey, maybe that's our movie!?" - stuff like that.I'm not certain if it'd be kosher to reveal what our selection was just yet, but 2025 horror is really off to a good start. I know it was a fairly divisive film, but I enjoyed Leigh Whannel's Wolf Man quite a bit. I will say though, this mystery selection was easily the stronger film and had a very clever script!In other art engagement news, I've been reading Xiran Jay Zhao's Heavenly Tyrant. I will admit, with the current political climate, I've had to set it down and take a deeeeeeeeeeep breath a handful of times, but it's such a brilliant continuation and maturation from Iron Widow. I love Wu Zetian in this series so much, and it's such a ride to see her going toe-to-toe with the cunning and ruthless Qin Zheng in their journey of rebuilding their totally demolished government. Everyone truly loves the dystopian government being defeated and the whole fantasy style revolutionary forces and all that, but who truly thinks "What now?" at the end of it all. Zhao really takes that question into firm consideration, and they have this pulse on politics that makes the fictional Huaxia of their creation feel so alive and scary real to a lot of what is happening in our world. Heavenly Tyrant is also a considerably heftier tome than Iron Widow, but the pace ebbs and flows and then whips right at you in such a deicious way that's certainly kept me at the edge of my seat - especially with Rong Foo's narration in the audiobook version.2025 has had an incredibly rocky start, and I've been really going through the ringer, but stories and storytelling arts are keeping me alive and pushing through it. I love sharing about what I read, watch, and listen to and other art I engage with on here. Some times I may reflect on stuff I had the chance to see longer ago as opposed to current selections, so I hope that isn't any kind of weird thing to do! I love reflecting.

january 19, 2025

I recently finished It Devours! by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor. It's a novel that takes place in the setting of the cosmic horror but also slice of life podcast, Welcome to Night Vale.
In this book, Nilanjana Sikdar is a scientist who works in Night Vale with hot boy scientist extraordinaire, Carlos. There have been mysterious happenings in Night Vale involving sink holes that are completely eliminating people, buildings, and everything. The book begins with the disappearance of one Larry Leroy, who makes dioramas of “historical events.” In Nilanjana’s research, she meets Darryl, who is a member of The Church of the Smiling God. They are an enigmatic, but VERY SMILEY, evangelical religion who are united under their aforementioned Smiling God, who “devours their sins.” Darryl is very enmeshed in this community, as he was raised in it after his parents’ passing. He and Nilanjana develop a chemistry through their opposition to each other, and also through Nilanjana’s research. Throughout the book, Nilanjana routinely feels conflicted about her relationship dynamic with Darryl, often very unsure if she is able to trust him.
As a long time fan of the WTNV podcast, I was very eager to look into the books. I even really liked that the audiobook is narrated by Cecil Baldwin, thee voice of the Night Vale podcast and the in-world radio host, Cecil Palmer. Cecil, the character, even makes appearances in the storyline of It Devours!, appearing alongside hot scientist husband, Carlos, and the novel makes really lovely work of the fan service for folks who enjoy the podcast. I think the book could still totally be picked up by someone who has never listened to a single WTNV episode and they could still keep up fairly well, but the experience is very much enhanced when you go in knowing who Pamela Winshell and John Peters, you know, the Farmer, and all the other kooky notable residents of this anomaly of a desert town.
However, one drawback for me is that Baldwin's narration stilts Nilanjana somewhat, in my opinion. I feel like I would have been better engaged with her story from her perspective if she was narrated by someone who resonates with her background and experiences as an Indian woman more closely. I don't think it totally detracts from the project as a whole, especially with the role both fictional and real-life Cecil play with the production and atmosphere of this little world, but it would have been a much more enhanced touch.Another personal note of enjoyment, the development of not only our individual protagonists, but the Congregation overall is so fascinating! Darryl in particular is also a character I really kind of grew to love, then find incredibly insufferable, and then find brilliance in the direction his character falls into by the end of the story, and his dynamic with Nilanjana throughout. I really find characters that are deeply religious, or even who are borderline zealots, in fiction to be very fascinating (i.e. Isaac in the Netflix Castlevania show, or Farnese from Berserk). It's a phenomenon that fascinates me, and as an actor and writer, I find the inner conflict of it all really thrilling to engage with. Maybe it's the personal connection to it from my Catholic upbringing, maybe it's just eager curiosity, but those characters are fun to play, write, and explore because those journeys feel so real and when an overly devout character confronts opposition to their beliefs they either cannot or must not escape, the stakes are very frightening in their perspective. Darryl finds this conflict within his romantic feelings for Nilanjana, initially, and without spoiling anything, as he learns more about the Congregation's true intentions and finds his own values and even entire personal history with the Congregation to be put into question.Sadly though (without spoiling, again), I do find the book sort of ends on a bang, then a flash, and then a little bit of a whimper. I think there is a purpose to the less-satisfying ending, given some of what is presented with themes in the book. There are several questions raised of "Is what I'm doing in the name of science truly helpful, or is it doing more harm than good?" and "Everything and everyone in this community I have devoted my life to will be devoured and gone within a blink of an eye; and is that worth my continued fervor and effort?" and sometimes ending that purposefully on a "non-answer" can be more of an answer than one would think. It can just take some marinating. Or, it could just simply be, dissatisfying.Solid 2.7/5? I don't know if I should figure out a rating system moving forward. I kind of just do whatever I want here. I enjoyed it, there were things I was only slightly dissatisfied with, but I don't think it detracts from what I experienced, and certainly does not detract from what I found to be the highlights of the book.༺♰༻

january 12, 2025

I recorded my first voiceover auditions of the year, yesterday!! We are so back, baby!While I was sick earlier this month, I also took it upon myself to start True Blood. I had seen a handful of episodes back when it was airing, and I've always loved the Skarsgards and I recognized Rene's actor from his stint on Once Upon A Time, but never watched it properly. I really am enjoying it so far. I like a lot of the twists on vampire lore and the real heavy lean in on depicting Southern culture. Some aspects are fairly exaggerated, sure, but the spirit feels very present.
I've taken it upon myself to take some more thorough notes in order to be able to write about the art that I'm engaging with, so maybe I'll write a "season 1" wrap-up of my thoughts and opinions or something. Always trying to figure out more things to write here!I want to set an intention for this year to be more curious, engage my brain more, and of course go full heart and soul into my passions.
/|\ ^._. /|\

january 7, 2025

I wish I could say the first blog post of 2025 would be better, but I kind of just want to write something short and sweet to show that I'm alive and not totally abandoning the routine work on my website here. 2025 immediately greeted me with illness, deep emotional loss, and mildly fortuitous financial gain, and it's only been a week in to the new year. I really don't want to let this set the tone for the entire year, but things have been not fantastic. Praying for an upswing. The gain I've mentioned is certain to get me out of this particular six month hole I've been in, and I'm pleased about it, and trying to hold on to gratitude for that. Yet, I can't ignore that everything else, frankly, kinda sucks at the moment. Sometimes, things just suck at the moment.

december 14, 2024

You ever get double booked for a weekend, and then have one of the shows cancel, but then another show just...slide right in there so you still end up being double booked for a weekend?I got to play with The Sisterhood of Lili St. Cyr again last night at River Oaks theatre! We had a Slasher Slumber Party for our great director, Ghoulia Childe's birthday! I got to play Eddie this time around and had a total blast!!! Stay tuned for our upcoming shows in 2025 here and buy some merch while you're at it!Besides RHPS and my band, I've been a dutiful Christmas elf and crocheting like crazy whenever I'm not in a functional freeze state. I recently learned some new patterns and have been very excited about it, but some of my gift recipients I know read my blog, so I can't quite share what they are just yet!I'm working in this short bloggie and site update before my band and I play a private event this evening, but I'm hoping to share more of an "end of the year" wrap-up (and also hopefully a Nosferatu movie review!) after the holidays conclude. <3

december 10, 2024

Nowhere But Up's first and latest music video, Snow Angels, is finally up on YouTube!I am over the moon to finally have the chance to write a blog post about this after starting off with such a crazy busy December. My sister, Angelique, who leads our band and is a phenomenal solo artist in her own right, had this touching and delightful vision for our video, and it was so fun to get to bring it to life!

My sister and I filmed some of the lip sync parts in the heart of Downtown, Houston on October 30th. There was a concurrent Halloween costume bar crawl situation happening whilst we shot the footage together on that screen corner, so if you happen to catch a Halloween costume in the shot, that's why! I find it absolutely hilarious.She really loves the Christmas season. I'm more of a Halloween guy myself. For a long time for me, Christmas was difficult to find joy in. As a child, I enjoyed the season like any other, but as I grew older and became alienated for my queer identity, it grew more and more difficult to resonate with the spirit of the season. I am beyond grateful to have reached a point where I can enjoy the season again, with both my blood family and my found family of lovely friends and creative colleagues. However, it took hardship to get to this point, and it took loss to be able to grow. Newton's 3rd Law, right? The only way human beings are able to get somewhere is to leave something else behind.The winter holidays can especially be hard when you're missing someone you love. Snow Angels is a holiday song written for people who are feeling those feelings, and still trying to find joy in the season.If you're having a difficult holiday season, I want to be the person to send some warm wishes, and I hope that Snow Angels is a song that can bring bittersweet joy for those who feel alone or alienated because their winter holidays are "different" from that Hallmark movie, Target Christmas card-esque visage.
No matter the reason (or, no matter the weather, according to the Snow Angels bridge - as translated from Spanish into English), finding joy in the now and allowing grief or loneliness the space to exist alongside it is all part of the experience, and the humanness of it all.I hope y'all enjoy the song, and your winter holidays, however you may spend them!

november 10, 2024

I have the gracious pleasure of getting to work a lot of children's' birthday parties within my various professions. Sometimes, children truly say the darndest things. A six- year-old boy today in this party of 25 kids did not want to participate in anything - which, if I wasn't one of the party facilitators and on the clock, I might have been inclined to agree. When I went with my coworkers to lead this massive party into the butterfly garden at the Houston Museum of Natural Science, this small child kept moaning "oh, this is the worst day of my life!"I retorted at one point: "Yeah, you're going to look back at this day when you're 80 and think 'yes, out of my entire, long, looooong, life, this was absolutely THEE worst day ever."
He was very quick to snap back: "Nope! I'm not going to live to 80! I'm going to die tomorrow, and I'm 6!"
Then I said, "I don't think you really wanna do that, kiddo." and then we found his mom and he complained the whole tour.
I hope tomorrow is actually the best day of that little six-year-old's life, so far, and that he gets to see 80 and then some. <3This quirky interaction included, my day was pretty marvellous. I got to hang out with my bestie who just moved to town, and meet a coworker of hers, who was very pleasant. I had many a sweet treat. What a good Sunday!Now, I find myself writing this blog post and rearranging the puzzle pieces that are my intense, crazy schedule. I've since had to mince it down into nibble-size pieces. I'm hardly able to manage bite-size pieces, given the recent "world on fire" sort of news recently. Being transgender in America is going to get a lot more difficult at best, and dangerous at absolute worst. I'm enduring where I can.
I did a tarot spread on Halloween that indicated a grevious loss would happen before a substantial, but likely mid-sized gain (Three of Pentacles, where I was hoping for 10, specifically). Community is the key element to gain from this hardship, which is a sentiment that brings me hope to see on folks' lips in this difficult time.Quests for the Rest of This Month:
♱ Crocheting a gift for a bestie's birthday next week! Colours for it are inspired by The Substance, which is one of their (and my) favourite films to have come out this year, if not this entire decade. It truly spoke to me on a trans and BPD level, as well as a level of the womanhood I had to grow up with, and grow to cherish, while also let go in my pursuit of my truest self.
♱ Nowhere But Up is doing some filming for some upcoming video projects! We took some lovely photos as a band with our most recent shoot and I'm elated to share them everywhere I can, including, of course, on my site! Ashley Marie, our photographer, is amazing!
♱ My family and I are going to see Wicked on opening night at River Oaks Theatre! Total full circle moment with my sister, as we plan to dress up together and everything. It will absolutely be an event.
♱ I've been sidelined a lot on my progress for my Sherwood character, but getting his sketch finalised and a construction plan is on my table. I am honestly a little overwhelmed, but it's been cool to have this concept formulating in my brain. I'm looking forward to playing a rather flamboyant and theatrical unicorn fae, and also getting my groove back with sewing. I work so much, I hardly find the time to get the machine out of its case.
♱ Anime Dallas, to close November out! I'll be on tech staff, as well as facilitating karaoke again! Looking forward to seeing all my lovely friends and colleagues on staff there, as well as some of our returning and new guests! We got an awesome event going, and I always look forward to it.

november 10, 2024

I have the gracious pleasure of getting to work a lot of children's' birthday parties within my various professions. Sometimes, children truly say the darndest things. A six- year-old boy today in this party of 25 kids did not want to participate in anything - which, if I wasn't one of the party facilitators and on the clock, I might have been inclined to agree. When I went with my coworkers to lead this massive party into the butterfly garden at the Houston Museum of Natural Science, this small child kept moaning "oh, this is the worst day of my life!"I retorted at one point: "Yeah, you're going to look back at this day when you're 80 and think 'yes, out of my entire, long, looooong, life, this was absolutely THEE worst day ever."
He was very quick to snap back: "Nope! I'm not going to live to 80! I'm going to die tomorrow, and I'm 6!"
Then I said, "I don't think you really wanna do that, kiddo." and then we found his mom and he complained the whole tour.
I hope tomorrow is actually the best day of that little six-year-old's life, so far, and that he gets to see 80 and then some. <3This quirky interaction included, my day was pretty marvellous. I got to hang out with my bestie who just moved to town, and meet a coworker of hers, who was very pleasant. I had many a sweet treat. What a good Sunday!Now, I find myself writing this blog post and rearranging the puzzle pieces that are my intense, crazy schedule. I've since had to mince it down into nibble-size pieces. I'm hardly able to manage bite-size pieces, given the recent "world on fire" sort of news recently. Being transgender in America is going to get a lot more difficult at best, and dangerous at absolute worst. I'm enduring where I can.
I did a tarot spread on Halloween that indicated a grevious loss would happen before a substantial, but likely mid-sized gain (Three of Pentacles, where I was hoping for 10, specifically). Community is the key element to gain from this hardship, which is a sentiment that brings me hope to see on folks' lips in this difficult time.Quests for the Rest of This Month:
♱ Crocheting a gift for a bestie's birthday next week! Colours for it are inspired by The Substance, which is one of their (and my) favourite films to have come out this year, if not this entire decade. It truly spoke to me on a trans and BPD level, as well as a level of the womanhood I had to grow up with, and grow to cherish, while also let go in my pursuit of my truest self.
♱ Nowhere But Up is doing some filming for some upcoming video projects! We took some lovely photos as a band with our most recent shoot and I'm elated to share them everywhere I can, including, of course, on my site! Ashley Marie, our photographer, is amazing!
♱ My family and I are going to see Wicked on opening night at River Oaks Theatre! Total full circle moment with my sister, as we plan to dress up together and everything. It will absolutely be an event.
♱ I've been sidelined a lot on my progress for my Sherwood character, but getting his sketch finalised and a construction plan is on my table. I am honestly a little overwhelmed, but it's been cool to have this concept formulating in my brain. I'm looking forward to playing a rather flamboyant and theatrical unicorn fae, and also getting my groove back with sewing. I work so much, I hardly find the time to get the machine out of its case.
♱ Anime Dallas, to close November out! I'll be on tech staff, as well as facilitating karaoke again! Looking forward to seeing all my lovely friends and colleagues on staff there, as well as some of our returning and new guests! We got an awesome event going, and I always look forward to it.

november 3, 2024

You all simply must know that I had a butterfly land on me earlier today. His name is German, he is (likely) a Scorpio, and (unpictured) has blue on the underside of his wings.

One of my favourite gigs has me frequenting the Houston Museum of Natural Science, and I swear it is one of the most cool places in the entire city. My favourite exhibits are the Moran Hall of Paleontology, the Hall of Egypt, and the newly revived Death By Natural Causes exhibit! I actually picked up a t-shirt for it, as a treat. Afterwards, I had a lovely dinner with lovely people I cherish.Today was easily the first perfect day I've had in a while. My stomach hurts after our dinner, so maybe it wasn't all perfect, but why should we expect life to be?

october 29, 2024

Getting to tick off participating in my first Rocky Horror shadowcast was an absolute gift! I got to drag my sister in with me, and it was a blast. Definitely thee hilight of my October, and I so look forward to future shows with The Sisterhood of Lili St. Cyr!
Our next show at River Oaks Theatre is on Friday, December 13th!Last night, I watched Jacksepticeye's playthrough of the psychological survival horror game, Mouthwashing. I am still utterly transfixed by the journey of the crew of the Tulpar. The visuals, especially of Curly's watchful, wide blue eye, and that of the dead pixel in the window screen remain so haunting. The game takes these imperfect (and one downright despicable) humans, and takes them to the absolute brink and then further. The tragedy of them all is grim, but beautiful, and I came away feeling so seen.
I generally walk a line between using my blog as a diary, but not exposing too much, but I want to make it clear that I do not view myself as a good person. My flaws are so glaringly apparent to me, how can I see myself as good, let alone perfect? I have left a line of hurt in my wake, and I have hurt in the name of trying to be the big, damn, hero. I see a fair amount of myself in the Tulpar's captain, Curly. I won't be elaborating for my own peace and privacy, but the feeling is cathartic, personal, and helpful in my own current mental health struggle. October has been fairly difficult.
Mouthwashing, as an overall experience, has been stuck in my brain like how the astringent, sugary flavour of mouthwash itself sticks around in your teeth and under your tongue after using it. I've got my eyes on Wrong Organ as a team, for sure, and look forward to their future work.This Halloween, I was sadly scheduled to work late, so my look will end up being very low key. I plan to dress up as Gengar from Pokemon (Lestat needs to be postponed, but definitely not forgotten!), and it will likely be adjusted to my day job's dress code. I'm hoping to finally get some rest, and set my intentions and manifestations for the rest of the year. New Moon in Scorpio, baybee~Upcoming Quests for November:
♱ On 11/2, my band Nowhere But Up will be playing at the Katy Sip n Stroll event!
♱ One of my best friends in the world is moving to Houston! I am so excited and can't wait for us to live in the same city!
♱ I want to make it to Texas Renaissance Festival some time. Aiming for mid-November, since those weekends look the most flexible for me. I definitely need to procure some pieces for my character for Sherwood.
♱ I will be working Anime Dallas 2024 on tech staff at the end of November, the weekend of 11/28 to 12/1. Definitely exiting November with a bang!Here's hoping throughout the month I can get closer to my goal of acquiring a new vehicle. It's been such a difficult time, both mentally and financially. I really hope I can finally turn things around and save enough to make that step happen as soon as possible!

october 15, 2024

Strange pattern I have, spacing out my blog posts 10 days apart from each other. Maybe I need to get out of cycle, shake things up.I had a lovely experience recently auditioning for the Sherwood Forest Faire cast in Austin, TX! It was a lot of fun, and I have the great fortune of getting the opportunity to play with some amazing humans and good friends!My debut in The Sisterhood of Lili St. Cyr's Rocky Horror Show production is this Friday. I am shivering with antici....pation and anxiety. I hope it turns out to be a fruitful experience and that I can make up for this utter lack of Halloween spirit lately.
There's just been something in the air, something about this season that's felt lacking and utterly overwhelming, work-wise, that has disconnected me from joy. I'm grateful that Sherwood auditions brought back some of that levity, and I'm sure RHPS will be a hilight of my October, regardless.I've finally started to learn to crochet a different kind of hat: a beret! I don't have any photos yet, but the learning process has been really great. I've learned magic rings and how to properly increase and decrease stitches - of course, after much trial and error. Sad to say I will no longer be able to joke about only knowing how to crochet one thing. Now I know how to crochet two things! :DLast night, I watched the movie ParaNorman (2012) to try and awaken some of the Halloween spirit. I'll admit to be shamefully late to the ParaNorman party, and I gotta say, it didn't disappoint! I loved how cinematic this one felt compared to Laika's other work, namely with how certain textures and colours appeared on screen like the whites of the characters' eyes, Courtney's lip gloss, the water in the bathroom scenes. I love when animation, especially stop motion, leans into use of texture in that medium. Norman, as a protagonist, was also very compelling. His gift to speak with the dead and how it is something that people ostracise him for in his community, is extremely relatable through both a gothy art kid lens, as well as a neurodivergent one.

october 5, 2024

I made this really cool tie for my look for my band's show, yesterday!

Modelled here by my new, and very cuddly friend, Gomi. We did a Hannah Montana tribute set and I really wanted to lean heavy into the alt look from the early 2010s. Originally, I planned to wear all white and black, and I went thrifting with a friend of mine to look for a white tie. I couldn't find any plan white ties, but I found this bright pink one that instantly caught my attention. One does want a hint of colour!This was the total stand-out, statement piece of my look. I just really wanted to go ham with the hardware and, in retrospect, I should have done the illustration work before attacking it with safety pins and studs.It really made me miss when I had a lot more free-time to upcycle and make my own clothes. I truly miss doing it, and the last few times I have had to get out my sewing machine for anything or crochet for hours on end, I've had a total blast.

october 3, 2024

On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was.
Don't forget.
Happy Birthday, Minto Aizawa from Tokyo Mew MewAnyway, nerd day aside, time has bled from day into day and it totally felt like today was October 4th instead of October 3rd. I wish I could tell you why, but I don't track my sleep. Every time I try, I just give up because my schedule is so inconsistent. That may just come with the territory of being an insanely busy artist.My friends and I are doing a writing challenge all of October, and I have been having a good time with it. It's actually felt like much less of a chore than the last times I've tried to do any writing challenges before.
I've been creating a cast of characters for a multimedia project, and these characters are in a visual kei band and an idol group, respectively. I already know a lot about visual kei, and a fair amount about idols from my proximity to friends who are kaigai idols and just generally working the anime convention scene and being into All This Wacky Stuff. However, I'm really looking forward to doing some deep dive research, along with crafting these character profiles. My goal for the challenge is to create characters that grab my heart and feel real to me. I haven't been this on fire about basically making up a bunch of OCs in ages!Other Quests for October:
♱ I am playing Riff Raff in a shadowcast for The Rocky Horror Picture Show! Our troupe is called The Sisterhood of Lili St. Cyr and they're such a lovely group of crazy humans. I am performing with them on 10/18 - SOLD OUT SHOW BTW - at THEE historic River Oaks Theater!
River Oaks re-opened with its official grand opening today! I'm so thrilled for the future of this beloved theatre here in Houston.
♱ My band, Nowhere But Up, are playing a bunch of shows this month! We play on 10/5 at St. Edith Stein Catholic Church's Founders Day Festival and have a rockin' Hannah Montana tribute lined up. We probably wouldn't be a band today if it wasn't for her, so paying this tribute is a huge full-circle moment for us!
We are also playing a big Halloween party on 10/26 at Mo's Irish Pub in Katy. Looking forward to getting creepy and kooky! I'm the resident Halloween guy of my family, so they really let me get to go all out and have fun.
♱ For Halloween proper, I plan on cosplaying The Vampire Lestat! The look I'm going for is going to be what we got to see in the SDCC preview of Interview with the Vampire season 3. I found a dupe for that iconic green coat on Depop for $25, and it just feels all like fate. Another full circle moment! I'm so excited to give his look a go.My calendar is lit up like NYC and, while I'm kinda struggling to juggle a fair amount of all this busy, I'm looking forward to the culmination of all these hilights.

september 29, 2024

Today, I had my first rehearsal for one of my two theatre productions that I have coming up in October, and it was such a gift to be practising on a stage again, and with other humans no less!I've been doing voice over work, primarily, for so long, I almost forgot what the environment was like. My theatre bones are still creaking, they're rusty and thirsty for oil. At 26, I fear the nearly ten years between now and my high school graduation, have atrophied a lot of my creative muscles. I've definitely improved in several respects (maturity and traumatic life experiences will do that to anyone, I fear), but there are basics I know innately, yet cannot teach. A name or a discipline will be on the tip of my tongue, and yet I will struggle to remember even the first letter of a word.Experiencing even Day 1 of this was such a thrill. I want to be able to do so much more of this. It's one of those feelings like: "This is it! This is the professional actor's life! I'm actually doing it!"
I love love love love love that feeling! I love interacting with new people!
Well, when it goes well at least. I fear my "interacting with people" bones may be rusty too (even if I enjoy doing it). I'm a serial extrovert, yet sometimes the neurodivergent brain will totally fudge my Charisma rolls.October is looking busy, but looking very much up. My calendar is lit up like a Christmas tree, but when isn't it?

september 19, 2024

A few reflections on the month so far:♱ I need to make it more apparent to my friends that I love them and I care about them. I need to say it to their faces. Yet, I still keep finding myself clamming up, a lot. Rome wasn't built in a day, et cetera, but i feel like this is something I've lost touch with. Maybe I was never good at it at all in the first place. I always told myself "Well, I show love in other ways." But making it apparent with words should be a basic first step. I'm doing my best to make that a much more apparent effort on my part.
♱ I booked my first audiobook ever this month! Very exciting. Love finally being in the ACX audition club. I don't recall why I got it in my head that I somehow was unable to finish my application/profile build on there, but here we are now.
♱ My bank accounts got hacked and I'm still financially recovering. If you would like to assist, my Ko-Fi is linked here.
I have open commissions for everything I do that's seen on this site. Thankfully, I'm all squared away with that situation, but it has greatly had me thinking about my own cybersecurity and just being more cautious.
♱ I am pursuing two theatre productions this month, one locally in person and the other online, and I'm thoroughly looking forward to both of them. So much for a restful month!! But exciting things are at play, I just know it.I'm really looking forward to an autumn season where I find my spark again. So far, the signs are pointing in an direction I am excited to head towards.

september 1, 2024

It's the first of the month, and I figured I'd write as I finish up an audition. I have a few of those lined up, but lately everything has needed to take something of a backseat.I had a fairly rough summer. For the last two years, I was an at-home caregiver for the grandmother of one of my best friends, and her passing kicked off my July, along with my car's head gasket bursting a significant leak. I then, in turn, essentialy lost a job and someone I cared about. I am grateful that our families are so close, but I still don't feel like I've been able to fully pass through the grief yet. I'm still finding myself a lot of the times wondering what to do with my time. I'm a fairly busy and creative person, so that shouldn't be difficult, right? Yet, I still find myself succumbing to depression and being overwhelmed by choice, and struggling to find a way to get a working vehicle back in my life as well.I'm opening up about this because I've found myself feeling desperate for creative work again, when earlier in the year, I was very much okay with the slow burn journey. Feeling hungry and desperate in this line of work, in this line of life for that matter can really throw a wrench into one's art. There's always something just a little off, if that hunger isn't channeled in a particular way? I just find myself listening back to nearly everything I record, looking at my crochet projects curling, looking at my art as a whole suffering for it and in my panic, not knowing where to find the leak in the sinking ship - metaphorically speaking.A dear friend of mine recently referred to this as burnout. I had been through a taxing summer - mentally, physically, emotionally, and have not allowed myself any opportunity to recharge. I get FOMO so badly, I want to work with all my friends. I need money to save up for a new vehicle so I can continue to work and to be active in my community in the way I like. My mind goes stir crazy when I don't have any little projects with serious little deadlines.I hope September, and the fall season overall, rejuvenates me. I'm often the sort of person that has really good autumn/winter seasons and not-so-great spring/summer seasons. Spiritual son of Hades and Persephone, or whatever. But, inevitably I always have something. I seem to just never be able to exist in perpetuity. Taking things slower, however, seems much more within the realm of possibility.

As a side quest, look at this really sick cake I made! I baked it for my sister's friend for her birthday. She's turning 25, and did a whole SpongeBob theme based off of that really silly joke SpongeBob and Patrick have in that one episode where Patrick joins SpongeBob in boating school. It's French Vanilla flavoured with homemade buttercream frosting. I made a gradient with frosting colours for the first time, and also painted using gel food colouring and a toothpick for the first time, in order to get the flower designs on there. Lots of experimenting to be done. I am NOT a master baker or anything, but I did a pretty good job.Quests for September
♱ Finish some crochet pieces for friends
♱ Anime Houston 2024 - I'm staff for this con! Looking forward to working with all my friends, but oof did it sneak up on me.
♱ Learn some more songs proficiently on bass guitar. My band has a big gig coming up at the end of the month, and our busier season usually starts in autumn
♱ Prepare for Halloween - I know for sure I want to do rockstar Lestat from The Vampire Chronicles, but I must make sure I have any and all other costumes together and planned. I never do just one. October is always such a big deal for me.
♱ Hopefully, be able to recoup my overall fortitude and financial situation/car situation. Maybe a mostly empty month (besides the aforementioned events) will mean I can actually take some time to tackle these things head on and fully recharge the system.I hope whomever may read my posts has a net positive autumn, whatever that may mean for you - rest, refuge, productivity, happy memories, freedom, or even no change at all. Gratitude is good to try and practice, no matter the season.

august 20, 2024

I have been a fan of Anne Rice's The Vampire Chronicles for a very long time. Since I read Interview with the Vampire in the 8th grade and was transfixed, and felt so seen by her characterization of one Lestat de Lioncourt, I have loved this series so much and it informed a lot of my growth, philosophy, and identity as an adult.That being said...I had a lot of feelings when I decided I would finally stop avoiding to watch Queen of the Damned (2002).
I took about 10 pages of notes on a A3 size notebook, filled front and back, and yet somehow my prevailing consensus about the film remains unchanged.Aaliyah's performance as Akasha is the stuff of legends. She is the crown jewel of a movie that is just so-so, but very pretty stuff if you enjoy the 00s nu-metal/nu-goth look like I do.One of the facets of Ricean vampires that is, frankly, what makes a great deal of their core is the gothic romance element. These vampires yearn and crave and literally and metaphorically bleed for connection. As much as Townsend's Lestat complained of how lonely it is to be immortal, I certainly didn't see any of it. His chemistry with Jesse, Marius, and anyone (except for Akasha in their short time together) is so unfortunately dry. Washing out the queerness of Rice's immortals on top of that makes these creatures lovely to look at, but not to watch.I'm much more silly in my frenetic, two-column, colour-coded notes. My Pochacco multi-chamber multi-colour pen was very helpful to translate my frenzy of mixed emotions in response to this. I also understand my response is very dramatic. I'm a very dramatic person, most days of the week.Some of the hilights from my frenzied notes include:
♱ "MESH SHIRT WITH STUDS <3"
♱ "Yeah, she's their daughter, but also the family disappointment."
♱ "I love Jesse's jacket, but hun, that's not business professional."
♱ "Those are some squeaky fucking violins."
♱ "JENNIFER COOLIDGE MOAN????"
♱ "Marius travelled to every single European country in that sentence oh God who coached him on this accent"
♱ "I made a corset like Jesse's once, but then I accidentally made it too small and had to be cut out of it."
♱ "OOH WAH AH AH AH"
♱ "Afraid to do a twirl? Scared to do a hip thrust?"
♱ "'She took Akasha's death into herself' was delivered with the same energy as 'Somehow, Palpatine has returned.'"

august 15, 2024

Trying to format this website has truly been a learning experience in and of itself. It's been well over 5 years since I've touched this sort of thing, but I think I'm definitely getting the hang of it again. You can certainly try to teach an old dog new tricks, and this one certainly still can...where was I going with this metaphor?
Either way, welcome to my new little chaos corner of the internet. I think proper blogging has become something of a lost art, and I'd really like to document things properly, and learning a new skill along the way seems very helpful.